I Want to Trust God BUT…

I deal with a lot of but[t]s in my life. Besides the fact I still have two kids in diapers, I’m constantly arguing with God saying, “I’ll do that but…[Fill in the blank]”. I feel almost hypocritical, or perhaps I am, when I ask God for his will in my life and when he lays it out for me I say, “But how? But why? But when?”  instead of, “Yes Lord.”

I have this problem with needing to know every.single.detail. If I don’t know every.single.detail. I usually end up scrapping whatever idea I may have had. The same goes for the prayers I pray to God. When I ask and He answers, I then proceed to bombard him with the “How? Why? When?”. He always replies with, “Just do it!”

Since I’ve taken a break from blogging this past month, I have been struggling with whether or not this something want to keep up, or if I’m just embarrassing myself by essentially baring my soul for the entire world. Satan’s a punk that way. When I ask God to free me from the bondage of caring what others think, and to allow me to glorify Him, he has told me to do it through my writing. I’ve spent the last month packing  running blog idea after blog idea through my head. So many things to share! Then scrapping every.single.one. for fear of rejection. I am then reminded that even if my blog only helps one other person, then I’ve succeeded here. I have always loved The Parable of the Lost Sheep in the books Matthew and Luke. It serves as a reminder that each of us is important to the Father.

Matthew 18:12-14 (ESV): 12 What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.14 So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

Luke 15:3-7 (ESV): 3 So he told them this parable:4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’7 Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

There are many other things God has laid on my heart to follow through with and obey, but I’m slowly learning to trust God again. For now, I blog. It’s what he’s asked of me, therefore I’m doing.

What has God asked of you to do today?

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