Satan’s a Punk

I’ve dealt with depression for longer than I haven’t. There are days (weeks or even months!) where it consumes me. It grips my heart and soul so tightly that my very spirit will become suffocated by it. It hurts. It hurts mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. It comes without warning. Days upon days of happiness and joy are then smothered, choked out, and forgotten by one day of depression.

Depression IS hell.

Let me make it clear for those that have never dealt with the demon “Depression”. It is NOT something you can control. You can keep an eagle eye on your radar for any warning signs that it’s creeping up on you, but there aren’t any. For those of us cursed by Depression, it sweeps in and steals any and all joy you’ve been building up, like a ninja thief in the night.

I’ve been spending the past year looking for what causes or triggers depression episodes in my life. Then this morning it hit me that it’s literally a CONSTANT battle. C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T. CONSTANT. Did I mention it’s constant? Because it totally is.

As soon as I wake up, Satan immediately begins to bombard me with things to suck me into a major depression. It’s mornings where my kids wake up too early and Satan whispers in my ear, “Your day is going to suck cause those damn kids are up too early and they need you. Don’t they know how tired you are? You’re exhausted! You’re never going to make it. You might as well give up now.”

Satan is ugly like that, and yes he has a potty mouth.

If he doesn’t get me with that, then he will try and get me when I go to take a shower for the day and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror he will whispers things like, “Look at how ugly you’ve become. How can your husband stand to be with you? You are never good enough. You’re absolutely disgusting.”  On ‘bad’ days it seems as though every hour I’m being hit with something else that I could easily dwell on to drag me down into a depression spiral.

But you know what? ALL OF THEM ARE LIES. 

The most sickening part about Satan is he disguises these lies by buttering and sugar coating them. They almost sound logical! I find myself agreeing when the depression battle seems to get to be too much to bear. I’ll say back to him, “You know what? You’re right! Of course I’m tired! I just want to sleep! Why do I have to be responsible for them? This is ridiculous! I’ll just ignore them all day and sleep. They obviously don’t care about me, why should I care about them?”.

You see, I welcomed the depression in the moment I said “You’re right!”. 

While I was waking up this morning and praying to God, I screamed at him shouting, “Father! Why and where do these thoughts come from?!? They are not right!”. He responded with, “Satan is your greatest enemy disguised as your best friend.”

In the words of a great man and my friend Chris Wilson who said, “Satan is punk!“. I think God would whole-heartily agree with you Chris. I would go so far as to say that Satan is THE punk. The punk by which all other punks are judged by.

Tonight I’m too tired to go into ways to combat depression. I’ll save that for another day. For now, I’m posting this for those of you who struggle too. I want you to take heart and know you aren’t alone.  I leave you with a verse that has helped me over and over again in my battle against Depression:

“...take every thought captive and make it obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

Take every thought captive my friends, they are the battleground.

Learning to walk in Christ,

Chelsea

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13 thoughts on “Satan’s a Punk

  1. mikeysjen says:

    WOW !! That was awesome !! And sooo true..

  2. Amy Burks says:

    Sweet Chelsea, I use to be a slave to depression also. But the more you “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” the easier it gets. You just have to make the decision every day, some days it’s every moment of that day, to do this. At first it seems exhausting doesn’t it?! But…keep heart…that is only the enemy trying to keep you from your freedom. Trying to convince you that it is easier to just give up. I remember 5 years ago…the turning point for me…when I realized that I had believed the lies and was convinced that my husband and my two beautiful girls would be better without me! I was going to fill my van up with gas…drive as far as the gas tank would take me…and live homeless! Yes, I believed that! But…here I am…a little over 5 years later free! Yes, I do still wake up some days and feel sad or depressed or overwhelmed or all of the above, but I have realized that if I keep repeating this verse and reminding myself that I am free and that I am not to take on a yoke that is too heavy for me to carry…I’m ok.
    Keep up the great work sister in Christ! I am proud of you for being honest and sharing on this lovely blog of yours! I will continue praying for you.
    Much love and many blessings,
    Amy Burks

    • I’m still amazed at what will believe from the enemy. I can honestly say I’ve gone about 6 months now without a major depression episode but I do have days still that get me.

      I was a Beth Moore study this morning and she said something about how we will ‘wear’ (in the example it was jackets) these letters of reproach and that when Jesus came and died on the cross he took all those ‘jackets’ and wore them himself. So why are you and Jesus wearing the same outfit?! LOL! It was funny.

      Thanks for your kind words Amy!

      -Chelsea

  3. […] finish the book because it speaks so true to me and my own struggles. I posted the other day about my struggle with depression, and this book really tugs on the […]

  4. vanity says:

    i told my self I needed medication after I had Brystin and some other really hurtful things happened in my life. just to get through…after years of depression….and then I heard the soothing whisper of GOD ….he said “YOU DONT NEED MEDICINE….YOU NEED ME!” After that….i pray everytime i feel any negitive rabbit whole pulling on my leg and he smiles and sends it away! Amy is so right..its an everyday thing, but it has gotten better…your heart still feels pain and some sorrow but God keeps the other at bay 🙂

  5. Brenda Elmore says:

    So graphically described, and so openly transparent. I would say that if you have an observant mate, he probably can tell that you are drifting into the deep dark hole, the pit. However, you may not see it. And then, yours may come on unannounced and without symptoms or contributing factors. For me, I found the scripture that says, “Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” to be absolutely true, and so very hard to do. I would have to f o r c e myself to do it. And I would tell God, “Now I am saying these words and being obedient because you said to do it. But you know as well as I do that I don’t mean these things in my heart. But with continued faithfulness, the dark cloud would begin to lift. and Eventurally, there would be some realization that I did mean some of the words. And then the cloud lifted more and more. Thanks for sharing, Brenda

  6. I have struggled with depression for yrs, even as a child. God delivered me from depression 4 yrs ago this month! I did continue however to take my medicine up until 6 mths ago. I think most of my depression stemmed from the fact that I didn’t think anyone loved me, including God. I didnt know that these thoughts I was having came from Satan & they were all lies!! LIES LIES LIES LIES!!!!! I know better now & I have to wear the breastplate of armor every day. Im keen to satans plan to kill, steal, & destroy everything he can. As for the medicine, some people need it for a short time, but for me, I realize now that the medicine only masked the real problem in me & that you need to work thru it because it is still IN YOU! I have worked thru some forgiveness issues & dealt with some grief over loved ones that I hadnt dealt with. Sometimes it may take quite a bit of time to work thru it, but if you realize that you CANNOT do it without God’s help, you WILL come out the other side. Only God can bring true healing & once you are FREE claim that promise. Say outloud, DEVIL YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING THERE! I AM FREE INDEED!! TAKE THAT SATAN!! GOD LOVES ME BECAUSE I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD!

  7. […] up, or if I’m just embarrassing myself by essentially baring my soul for the entire world. Satan’s a punk that way. When I ask God to free me from the bondage of caring what others think, and to allow me […]

  8. […] actually found it strange that ever since I started this blog and posted about depression, that I’ve started to deal with it yet again. I have yet to figure out if it’s a God […]

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